Dear me,
You only had one drink tonight..but you wish you had one bottle of liquor instead. Please stop making yourself feel this way; please stop getting yourself into hurtful situations. It sucks, I know, but if you really want this, you gotta deal with the hardships, so suck the fuck up and accept it.
Sincerely,
You
I miss you. I want to see you. I want to hear your voice again. I want to cuddle and be wrapped in your warm, secured arms. I want to talk to you. I want to feel your lips brushing against mines.
I want to hear you say those words that would echo right back through me.
You just drive me crazy, and I love it.
I was going to make a blog consisting of all of my reactions to certain people that text me, but because my webcam is being a bitch and I’m too lazy to do it by camera or with my phone, I’m only doing one photo tonight.
My reaction to when I get a text from a certain you, where I’m blushing, biting back a ridiculous grin by warping my mouth into a twist, all because your name pops up on my screen.
I was just with you,
wish I didn’t had to go.
Few days after Christmas,
I’ll be in your glow.
One night with you,
next night alone,
I’ll see you soon,
after nights so long.
I found a two year old list I had written towards a special someone—of reasons why I liked him..and I cried from reading it. I am sorry, but I am still madly in love with you, and that has not changed since we met back in January 2009.
“Gosh…where to start? haha
- I like your goofy smile.
- I like how you look at me.
- I like the way you hug me tightly.
- I like how you try to look “cool” in front of me of another guy.
- I like the way you say my name.
- I like how you have three monitors in your room and your vision is like perfect.
- I like how you get confused so easily.
- I like when you say cheesy lines.
- I like how you want to spoil me.
- I like when you poke fun of me.
- I like how you can make me smile.
- I like how you can make me laugh when I’m down.
- I like how just hearing your voice makes me feel better.
- I like your face.
- I like your crazy personality.
- I like how you move your hands back to find mines when I walk behind you.
- I like how you’re so shy.
- I like your honesty. No matter how brutal they may be.
- I like how your hand holds mines.
- I like how you can act as retarded as you want around me.
- I like how you can read me so easily.
- I like that you like me.
- I like how we can hang out and do nothing cause each other’s company is all we need.
- I like your goofiness.
- I like you the way you are.
- I like your cute text messages.
- I especially like your Good Morning & Good Night text messages.
- I like that you call me Mrs. Teddy.
- I love how you’re actually reading all of this.
- I love how you’re probably laughing.
- I love how you’re probably smiling like an idiot over there.
- I love that you’re IMing me right now, eager to see what I wrote.
- I love that you love me.
- I love you too.”
This just feels right;
having your body so close to mine,
your heat,
your touch,
that warmth I’ve missed so much..
I love you, but I guess you’ll never know,
and I’m actually okay with that—for this will be my secret.
This cold, lonely night makes my heart shiver at the realization that you are not here.
Jealousy - Eats me up inside.
Anger - Makes me weep.
Sadness - Causes me to over-think.
Disappointment - Repeats this cycle.
